kids

Seventeen Years: Preparing Myself for the Next Chapter

Lifestyle

I am notoriously nostalgic. At any given point in my day – I can be found reflecting on mistakes from yesterday, reviewing regrets from last month, or missing moments from years ago. It’s brutal. I’ll catch myself, snap out of it and somehow function throughout the day. The reel that so often plays in my head, it not only distracts and disables me from being in the present – but emotionally makes me relive times I have already endured. Some good, some bad, some even exaggerated from what actually truly transpired. Imagine doom-scrolling through memories in your head and you have a sense of what I go through daily.

My first-born son Ishaan is applying for colleges right now. He’s a senior in high school, already completed his college standardized admissions tests (SAT & ACT), and is essentially starting to work through the Common App, apply for scholarships, and narrow down some possible majors he may be interested in pursuing. Through hard work with some God-given intelligence and talent, he has accomplished being captain of his school’s tennis team, co-founded several clubs, kept his GPA up while taking (and passing) 13 AP courses, officially completed the math and reading Kumon curriculum, and was recently announced a National Merit semi-finalist.

I remember coming home from my residency program, and helping a kindergarten version of this same kid learn to write his letters. He had an imagination that had him being a school car-line attendant one day, and a Transformer the next. To this day, he still battles Beyblades with his younger brother, crushes his family at Catan, and plays pickleball and tennis every chance he gets. I cannot believe the same kid that (in his teens mind you) once left the house without shoes or sandals on, is well on his way to being a high school graduate!

Ishaan is seriously enthusiastic about everything. He never says “no” to anything or anyone. Except corn, he hates corn for some strange reason. I love that about him, he certainly squeezes every drop out of his life that he can. In a lot of respects, he is your typical teenager – consumed by his phone, horribly dietary choices and hygiene habits; but when he busts out a random ‘bagel’ or ‘boba’ dance, you often get to see that beautiful innocence and youthful spirit of his come through. I love that he lives his life with so much fervor, it makes him fun to be around and it is one of the qualities I’ll miss most when he goes!

You will never have this day with your children again. Tomorrow they’ll be a little older than they were today. This day is a gift.”
— Melia Keeton-Digby

When Ishaan was about a week old, I remember taking him to the OB/GYN’s office for a wellness check. As I was walking into the waiting area, I vividly remember a woman telling me to “cherish this time with him, they grow up so fast.” That really stuck with me! I am so blessed that, while I did (and still do) work a decent amount – I had ample time to watch both my kids grow up. The paradox though is why do I feel like it just happened so quickly? Time just flies when you’re a parent. Something that always wrecks me is the social media pages that remind you this may be the “one day you will pick up your child and set them down for the very last time without even realizing it.”

I do not know what the future has in store for Ishaan. As a family, we have to weigh tuition costs against name recognition of the school, and factor in that he still does not quite know what he wants to pursue. Our local university is ‘ick’ or ‘cringe’ as kids these days may say – so, hopefully he chooses to go somewhere else. Not that I wouldn’t miss him dearly, not that I wouldn’t love seeing four more years of his bagel dance; he’s just an amazingly awesome individual and I think he’s capable of something far better.

A side-by-side photo showing the same boy at two different ages. On the left, he is a young child with a broken arm, wearing a red polo shirt and smiling. On the right, he is a teenager holding a sign that says 'ISHHAAN, first day of 12th Grade, I am 16 years old, when I grow up I want to be a Doctor, Musician, DATE: 8/10/26,' standing outdoors.

Ishaan recently passed his driving test and drove himself to school for the very first time! Before that, I had the pleasure of dropping him off every morning. We listen to about 3 or 4 songs together, wish each other a good day, and I let him take his tennis bag and backpack out of the trunk and watch him make his way to his first period class. Now, that too may be a fleeting moment for me!

I find myself counting down the days until Ishaan’s graduation ceremony, until his college acceptance letter comes in, and until we drive him out to his dorm – wherever that may be. I feel like, rather than being melancholy and dreading those upcoming events, my time is probably better spent focusing on appreciating the moments I get to spend with him now. Who knows, maybe I’ll try and go lift him for the last time and pray that my back doesn’t give out on me!

Don’t get me wrong though, I have some serious concerns about Ishaan’s survival skills! So far, his idea of ‘cooking for himself’ constitutes him pulling and pouring a big bowl of cereal out of the pantry. He can solve complex Calculus problems, but somehow doing a load of laundry eludes him. Either he’s banking on Optimus or one of these other autonomous robots to do a lot of his daily chores, or he fully believes his mom is moving in to the dorms with him.

Thank you for reading this post! I need to write more often, it helps me unpack my emotions about things and I hope someone out there connects and relates to some of what I say! Be well, and be sure to enjoy the precious time with your kids and loved ones!

The Tennis Takeover

Lifestyle

About a year before the world knew of COVID-19, my wife and I enrolled our two young boys in a local community tennis program. They had briefly tried their hands (or feet, rather) at soccer before that; but their scrawny physiques could not handle the endurance needed to continuously run the length of the soccer field. As their enthusiasm in soccer seemed to wane a bit, we made the decision to give something else a try.

Introducing tennis to them during COVID-19 was quite a blessing. It was naturally socially-distanced, much less of a contact sport then soccer was, and it was just enough of an outdoor social activity in a time when home-schooling was mandated and kids really stopped seeing their friends regularly.

The city’s park and recreation tennis class we had them in was short lived. The teacher was an older gentleman that showed up late, used most of the class time to ask the kids what they ate for lunch, and spent a disproportionately little amount of time letting them hold a racquet, instructing them about the rules and scoring of the game, and teaching them proper form.

It did however, allow us to be out on tennis courts. And that was huge. Because just being outdoors gave us an opportunity to see other coaches on neighboring courts teaching young kids. Now, most of the tennis greats of the world were holding racquets and started playing the game by ages 3 or 4. My kids were about 10 and 6. Oops. Oh well, better late then never?

“Do not squander time, for that’s the stuff life is made of.”

Benjamin Franklin

As I saw coaches that I thought had impressive teaching styles, I would approach them and inquire about lessons for my own kids. At one point, my boys had lessons from three different instructors and were spending about 1 to 2 hours out on the courts every day of the week. One day, my oldest son told me that the way one coach wanted him to serve was a different technique then another coach; and asked me who he should listen to?

At first, I thought I was doing them a favor recruiting all these accomplished trainers. One coach had almost gone pro himself. Another taught university level men’s tennis. Still another had such infectious passion for the game; and not only taught form and technique but focused on and spoke to the mental acuity and emotional stability needed to really succeed at it.

As it turns out, the coach that once told me “it’s not good to have too many voices in their heads” is the last one standing. He hosts a clinic a couple times a week, and offers private lessons on weekends that we sometimes take advantage of. He’s the right amount of strict/stern, pushes the boys to advance their game, encourages them to always be ready, to strategize the placement of their shots, and has really done well to teach them the intricacies of the game.

My wife and I went on to the U.S. Tennis Associations (USTA.com) website late last year and inquired about tennis tournaments our boys could participate in. Since then, they’ve played in several and have faired better in some then others. Our oldest son, Ishaan (12 yo), is mentally confident going into matches and just has a tendency of making unforced errors. Our youngest, Krish (8 yo), has an impressive passion and skill, but struggles a bit with nerves and believing in his abilities.

Part of the reason we wanted them to enter tournaments is to desensitize them to being in competitions. It is one thing to leisurely play against your sibling, against kids in your class, etc.; but it is a totally different dynamic when you are in a match against a stranger, you are officially keeping score, and there are rankings and trophies on the line.

We want them to learn responsibility; to eat a good healthy breakfast, get a good night sleep, and to get their tennis bag ready the night before a competition. We want to have them figure out how to cope with losses, and learn from mistakes they make within their matches. We try to reward them, win or lose, by letting them decide what they want for dinner or picking the dessert of their choice.

Tennis has, in many ways, taken over our lives. I absolutely love that my kids ask if we can go play tennis at the park on the days when they do not have lessons with their coach (and even some days when they do). I love that they want to watch tennis highlights of Nadal and Djokovic and Federer playing. I love that they now coach and correct me on how to properly grip a backhand or toss my serve.

Honestly, it has been an expensive hobby. Tennis shoes and attire, racquets (not to mention restringing) and balls, lesson (both clinic and private) – it adds up very quickly. I can only hope this is a lifelong passion of theirs, and that they go on and teach their own children to love and be good at the game.

The truth is, I secretly want them to be champions of this sport. I want them to progress, work hard, and potentially turn this into something professional if they can. But if they lose interest, want to explore other passions, that is okay too. I do not ever want to be the parent that forces their child to fulfill my own desire for stardom and success.

Thank you for taking the time to read this post! And spending time on my blog. As with so many topics that I discuss (investing, dentistry, medical issues, etc.), this will likely be the first of many posts about this matter. If you have any questions, or suggestions, I would love to hear from you! Be well!