stress – ShroffTheRecord.com

This coming week, I will be turning 44 years old. I have always hated celebrating birthdays – whether it’s my deep-rooted anxiety about getting older, or perhaps it’s my introvertedness and never wanting to be the center of attention – but I will say, this one does not seem so bad. I am usually a roller-coaster of emotions, so tomorrow (or this afternoon) I may feel differently; but right now, in this moment, I have to say I feel rather accepting (almost welcoming) of it.

Where am I at in my life? Married to a beautiful woman and I have two bright, talented boys. I have a job that surrounds me with incredible co-workers, affords me time with my family, and provides me a solid paycheck. Other than some steady hairloss, I am overall pretty healthy and have high aspirations to get into better shape still. I have personal and professional growth opportunities that make the coming year an exciting one for me.

Adulting is stressful and hard. We have bills (and very soon, taxes) to pay and self-care to maintain. We have young people to raise and elderly parents to care for. We have a tremendous number of responsibilities to balance on our plate every day.

What I have found helps my mental health the most is taking care of my physical health. I am starting to control my diet more regularly, take the daily vitamins and supplements my doctor recommends, exercise as often as I can (at least 3-4x weekly), and sleep about 7-8 hours a night.

I think personal development is also critical to help minimize stress. We have to keep growing as individuals and developing new skills. I read blogs daily and am currently on the book “The Millionaire Next Door” by Thomas J. Stanley and William D. Danko. While I don’t have much in the way of hobbies and interests; I get on the tennis court with my kids every chance I get, I try and do an early-morning coffee run with some friends once a month, and my boys and I love playing NHL 23 (Go Knights Go!) on the PS5 together.

While I think its significantly important for people to set goals, I’ll admit I never was very good at it. I encourage my kids to do it all the time; whether it be the grades they want to achieve in school this semester, how many songs they want to learn on the piano this month, etc.. For me, my career goals would basically be to finally open my own practice. I am terrified of having to deal with staffing issues, payroll and HR responsibilities, worrying about supply costs, complying with sterilization standards – basically everything I have been blissfully oblivious to these past nine years that have been somebody else’s concern. What I am learning though, is getting out of that comfort zone mentality and taking on risk is really what makes life worth living.

You made it through another day
You did it, let’s celebrate
~Sia

We have such little time here on Earth. I think as I get older, I think I am coming to realize, don’t sweat the small stuff. Find the people in your life you enjoy keeping company with, set some goals and work arduously towards achieving them, be sure to count your blessings – life is too short! I just wanted to throw a post out there today, sorry if it came off as random. I’ll hopefully be writing again real soon to give updates on my Exercise Expedition as well as sharing some exciting career news! Until then, enjoy your day and thank you for visiting this post!

Just to offer you some context, it is exactly 2:26 AM as I sit to write this post. That said, I cannot guarantee any actual coherency or substance in what follows. Writing has always offered me some degree of catharsis and, hopefully, a cure for my current bout of insomnia.

A few weeks ago, I was working in the surgery center when – mid-procedure, my heart started rapidly beating, I had a slight uncomfortable tightness in my chest, and I found I had to take a couple of deep breathes to essentially restore myself to a baseline where I felt normal again. The dentistry was going fine, nothing stress-inducing had happened and it was all very routine-Monday sort of work that I was doing.

I want to say, either the next day or the day after (shame on me for not keeping better records), a similar episode occurred while I was in the office working on a patient for dental treatment. Basically an identical presentation to what happened earlier, a brief couple of minutes where I had a slight aching in my chest, a shortness of breathe and what felt like I was getting tachycardic or having some palpations of my heart muscle – not exactly sure.

Admittedly, this has not been the best year. Most recently, certain members within my household contracted COVID; and so there were health issues amongst family to be worried about. Still a very fresh and extremely agonizing is the financial loss I incurred with my poor Celsius investment. And to pour salt on the wound, the practice I work for recently sold to a large corporate entity – leaving me with a suffocating uncertainty of whether or not to stay employed with the new group or finally take a leap (along with the many headaches and financial investment) of practice ownership.

I already do not manage stress well. My entire life I have lived very phobic of everything; social situations, new endeavors, taking on risk, basically changes of any size or shape. Just today in fact, something as simple as watching my boys play in a tennis tournament this afternoon – I can literally feel my cortisol levels spiking when the game gets close. To the point where I have to walk away, stare into the sky and observe the clouds through the trees, all the while playing calming music in my AirPods. Let me tell you, it makes for a miserable existence.

Doctor Googling the way that we do, tells me a rapid heart rate and chest tightness are commonly associated with Atrial Fibrillation (abnormality in the heart rhythm), panic disorder (panic attack), anxiety, and/or stress. Fortunately, I also saw my actual physician today; who recommended we do 1) an EKG (which I did right there and then – and thankfully, everything looked good according to him) and 2) a CT calcium score (which I plan to schedule soon). An electrocardiogram (ECG or EKG) assesses the heart rate and rhythm; but could be used as a tool to diagnose a possible arrhythmia (irregular heartbeat), blocked arteries, heart damage, failure or even a heart attack. While I did not experience any dizziness or faintness, the chest pain, rapid heartbeat and breathing warranted me getting this done. Apparently, the cardiac CT calcium score (aka coronary calcium scan) will help identify the amount of calcified plaque in my coronary arteries. As he put it, the EKG might be a past indicator of heart healthiness, but this Calcium Scoring may be more of a future indicator of sorts.

Once we have (hopefully) ruled out maybe this being a physical ailment with my heart; the next item on the agenda is to address the psychological element of it. My physician (as I am sure all do) encouraged me to exercise more regularly, incorporate yoga and if need-be, try therapy. No quick Xanax fix I guess.

Throughout my life, the times I have felt my best (both physically and mentally) are always when I exercise regularly. Unfortunately, it is easy to fall into a rut and lose momentum. I really am going to make it a priority now to squeeze in 3 or 4 days a week of a solid exercise regimen, and maybe – just maybe – I can get these panic attacks (?) to subside or disappear altogether.

The boys after their USTA Junior Circuit Tournament

Every post I write, I am always curious to know what others experiences are in this realm. I find my stress and anxiety (and now, panic disorders?) sometimes make it hard to get up in the morning. Other days I feel great, enthusiastic even, and embrace what the world has in store for me. Hopefully a healthy regimen of working out, eating right, yoga and (if need be) therapy get me feeling better. Thank you for taking the time to read this post!